Sorry, haven't had a chance to update. Here's what's happened:

I feel bad for Thesha. Her wedding was nothing compared a true traditional wedding. It was horrible. I would have been bored out of my mind, but I was too busy snapping pictures and taking videos. I video taped the whole wedding wearing high heels and being bumped and pushed and shoved by a ton of other people for literally 3 hours straight. My cousins went on and partied, not really caring where I was or if I needed help (if we changed shifts I'm sure my feet wouldn't have  felt like commiting suicide the next day). I also went to their house and was yet again bored. I always feel like an outsider around them. Then again, I feel like an outsider to everybody except for my parents.

Sometimes I kind of cringe at the fact that if we just hung out more when we were little we could've been close friends. Actually, we used to be good friends, but that changed, and don't ask why because I just don't know. This has happened with most of my friends. Something happened or they moved or their parents were not exactly great people or it was just my pathetic foolish carelessness and wrong judjement that caused me to lose contact with them.

It hurts so bad to imagine losing the best friends I have now. I don't want to ever lose contact with them. I wonder if our friendship will survive, but that's only when we're apart. When I'm with them, I just feel so happy and can release my inner self. Only then is when I have no doubts in our friendship and life and I just believe everything will be OK.

I really want to hang out with my friends and the S.A.T's this Saturday...



siiiiigghhh.

Labels: Friends, Gabby, Lauren, Miranda, Nishi, Nitol, Pia, Ria, S.A.T, Sanjida, stress, Thesha, Tia, Wedding